Sista's and Brethren,
I read all the messages posted here sofar with great interest, since I am also the child of a black father and a white mother. But to make it a little bit more confusing, I was raised by a white family in a white country, and I only met my father in his native land when I was already grown. I personally feel that all my life in a white society, I was searching for somewhere to belong. When I first set foot in the land of my father (Suriname, Caribbean) I felt like my spirit had come home finally. But after immigrating here, I felt time and again that people felt i was a foreigner and even worse, not a child of this soil. It took me a long time to find the inner strenght to accept the fact that i fall outside of categories. and the painful shock of having family criticizing your locks (how can you do that to your hair when your hair is so gooooood) was less painful than having your lover admit that he loves your color more than anything. So, I stopped trying to fit in. I stopped trying to prove to people what i knew inside of me: that my african heritage is as much a part of my identity as being a woman, as being tall, as being intelligent, as being raised and loved by white people who loved me as I am.When people did not want to accept me as white, I accepted that. When people did not wanted to accept me as black, the hurt was much worse, but still i accepted that. Being a person of mixed blood to me is being faced with more questions, more doubt, more challenges, and more truths. When you dare to confront them, you learn so much more about yourself and the world around you. I agree that we do not get the best of both worlds. But I do feel that, with having a double heritage, we are richer. That is, if you can accept yourself for who you are and what you are. Thanks for posing this question in the first place because I know it is important to a lot of people. One love, Magic