Iziz! Greetings and One!

Disclaimer:
I am not from Zimbabwe nor have I ever been there. However I have travelled through several countries in West Africa. I can say that the woman in traditional subsaharan African culture seem to hold simultaneous position of Goddess and whore/slave. This opinion is derived mainly from textual readings and some preliminary observations (primarily of the ethnographic genre).

I am and have been in a long term Rasta relationship. Even though I have had dread for the past 15 years and I have been a vegetarian for that long as well. I have been in relationships with dread men from three different black cultures and I find some similarities in their (mis)treatment of me.

Unfortunately, I must accept the sociological concept of triagulation. We seem to form opinions of ourselves based on Other's understanding of us. I feel that these men have been misguided by society's or the downpressors position of the Rasta man as a biblical figure. They do see us as some kind of biblical people and they expect us to behave accordingly. Most seem to forget that the bible contains not factual evidence or events but allegories to historical occurences and culture, speech etc. In fact, it is best understood through anthropological or social scientific lenses.

I do feel downpress by my kingman. We are not from Zimbabwe but the same things apply. I think that he credits himself for "bringing me into the trod!" yeah right. I read, discussed, and came to it on my own. I still feel that he would be more comfortable with a non-dread me. And he still acts like he wants the trimmings of the trod, to be treated like a king. He wants a full court or harem and someone to serve him day and night as he feels that others think he is being treated.

I resent this and I think that it will be the reason for the end of our relationship. We do not see eye to eye about anything. In fact, I don't think that he would care if I stopped trodding FarI. We are suffering right now and he seems to think that we have to do or abide by the downpressors rules to survive. I also feel that he does support me in some ways by keeping up with the trod. While he goes to Binghi we my youths and I are never invited. I'm not too concerned since there's always so much fighting there anyway. He seems ashamed of our suffering and our poverty and so he lashes out at me for no reason.

I did not come into his house, we created one together on both of our strengths. I feel for my sistrens in Zimbabwe who are trodding with so much persecution. I know the feeling we know the isolation from family and friends who resent our choices and feel that we deserve the hardship for choosing to be so political. I have also been ostricized from other rastas for even bringing this up.

FE/male relations within the trod deserves a whole panel or conference. Domestic abuse is rampant and it is spilling over unto our relationships with each other. I have had to call the police on my kingman at least 5 times. I even had a restraining order against him while I was pregnant once. I also feel that the issue of polygamy contributes to this problem. Many of these men feel like they are solomon or Abraham and they take on more than one dawta. This is destructive and it is greedy. HIM had one wife and he respected her so much. I feel that he did love his first common law wife too. Lidj Yasu made him leave her and marry his niece at a Christian church ceremony in order to inherit the throne. In his autobiography, he continuously refers to WE meaning the royal tribe primarily HIM and HER. For the first time the Empress was crowned on the same day and with the same fervor as the Emperor. That as well as the desolution of the royalty were very significant in heralding a new beginning for Black Africans everywhere. We should remember them and stop trying to impose new ways that are destructive to the trod.

If other sistrens who have had similar experiences wishes to respond to my post please do so to me personally or publically on the list. I appreciate bredrens comments too if they are as thoughtful as Ras Ayinde's. If my kingman had another woman or drank alcohol I would leave the relationship.

I believe in love and I believe in self love.