you come across like a bull in a china shop(or maybe in this case, a book shop). your mind is all over the place - from what and how you type it seems like you really need to chill out. you are looking for people to give you answers to the million and one questions that your mind spits out, you are like a search engine on intellectual enlightenment crack. you also come across rather arrogantly which speaks a lot to what you have acknowledged as your "privilege." i don't have any answers for you, but i would suggest you maybe pick up one of your many meditation books and just learn to calm down your mind and try to be a bit more still. maybe once your thoughts have some organization(which will come after you have some more control over them) things will be clearer - and calmer for you.
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