Great news! Africa is being saved from misery and despair, one orphan (with living parents) at a time... and the next generation of Malawian kids will work industriously so they can afford bottles of specially blessed kabbalah mineral water. All hail the great white celebrity saviours, religious icons of the new age!
You, too, can be an american idol in this new world order! Why, you could be the next "Barack Obama".