I haven't told anyone this before. But the truth is, I get frustrated too easy in the face of oppression. I get impatient, and I want to see things materialize in an instant. This may seem to some as a character flaw, but the truth is, that I have always been this way ever since I was a young child. As of late I have been reading the teachings of Selassie I and the teachings of Akhenaten. I was surprised to see so many simularities in their thinking. Both were relgious figures and both were rulers. I'm trying to use their teachings to channel my fire energy.

You see it is not easy for many to accept the concept of a female warrior. Yes there have been several in the past, but still in a victorian society, women have not been thrust into the role of warrior. Therefore I struggle everyday to find that even balance of preistess and warrior. I can't deny who I am, for to do that would deny all the contributions that the creator and my parents gave to me.

I do overstand that there must be balance a happy medium of sorts. I know that Maat is balance, but what happens when balance can not be restored? The only female left to call on would be sekhmet.

And there you have it. On one side I study to attain higher knowledge, and on the other side I study the enemy of our people and his military tactics. Sometimes I feel that as a people we have yet to accept the fact that we must fight fire with fire.

My brother this is a daily strugle for me.

In order for the enemy to enslave us, he had to enslave our God concept as well! If we remove the chains from our original God concept, then we can trully say that we are mentaly free. Before the enemy could ever put us in bondage, he had to first alter out thinking, even if it was to alter our thinking of him. First comes trust, second comes betrayal.

It was nice reasoning with you mighty lion. If my sons can grow up like you, then my job will be complete.

Bless