You need to clear your head, it sounds like too much of the systems insidious connivance has manifested in your head. There is good and bad, positive and negative. The choice is up to the individual as to which one is chosen!
Right now many of us are like streams, going over the many rocks, crevices and waterfalls on our perilous, but compelling journey towards our Ocean in Life; i.e. the great Infinity(beyond).
Right now the experiences we encounter and share do have the effect of defining us, but ultimately the real who we are is within us and it is each of us that have our individual link/fragment of the Creator and First Source of creation.
please note, when forces are conspiring to derail a one,, sooner or later those forces have to be faced. So the negativity that is within you needs to be faced and dealt with. That is for you to address, although you can get help from outside of yourself, but it is only you who can really begin to free your mind!
Ps Don't take any medical (mind) drugs - cos other than fattening you up, they will only leave you extremely Paro!
FAIR USE NOTICE:
This site may at times contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.
For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml