You admitted your relationship into the reasoning thereby making it fair game for comments. Don't get angry because some will not casually accept what you are saying. You knew that coming in.

People often try to show that their white partner is the exception to the rule when they mention them here. They talk like if their white partner is automatically one with all black people. Other black people might see them as a good or bad based on getting to know them, but they will still see them as white.

If you really believe what you wrote (prior to the part about your white partner), then why do you feel other Blacks’ distrust of mixed black/white relationships is hateful? It seems some people 'admit' they are with white partners because they are not comfortable, and are looking for approval or validation from other blacks.

Even if you feel ok in a relationship with a white person, it will not automatically be accepted by others. There will still be distrust for the white person and the motives for that relationship, unless others know the white individual personally. You really should not expect strangers to casually trust your judgement. It is not possible for everyone to know your partner or the reason for your choice. It is to be expected people will react based on the generalized conduct of whites and black/white relationships. No one should expect their white partner be accepted by all based on the strength of they being Black. Being in love is not a reason for automatic acceptance either. Your judgement about love could be based on exotic sex, financial considerations, or a desire for social prestige. Even people's feelings about love were conditioned, and are annexed to material possessions that were imposed during slavery and colonialism. (This is not to say all these feelings are necessarily bad.)

Since you already acknowledged whites are hard to trust, it seems odd you would have a problem with other blacks who have the same distrust when it comes to whites, including those in mixed relationships. If blacks casually trust whites they see around I as 'one of us', I know something is wrong with their judgement. I know they are embracing for all the wrong reasons; these blacks are colonized. The general distrust for whites is healthy and in order.

You said: "but my wife is white, but has the soul of a black person"

It should be expected that a statement like this is going to raise an alarm in more sensitive blacks. You are telling us your white partner "has the soul of a black person". What is so objectionable about her having the soul of a caring Caucasian person? Why try to make her a white 'symbol' of blackness. Any negative experience she goes through as a result of being in a mixed relationship is all within you two having a choice about the situation. She can also go back to her white world and leave the experience behind with minimal impact. If she raises an alarm about you ill-treating her, right or wrong as she may be, the white establishment is more inclined to take her side. They will believe her before they will believe you. So she cannot have the 'soul of a black person'. Black people do not marry into white privileges.

There is no problem with people getting together with whomever. Right or wrong, they will have to deal with the consequences. People will experience many things from the variety of unconscious positive and negative things they do. They will still have to get informed and put their awareness in order, to be truly comfortable. In so doing they will realize the many poor choices they made. They cannot expect everyone to accept their choices simply because they like it. Looking for acceptance for race mixing in any Black Movement takes away from the intended purpose of the Black Movement, which is supposed to be about the development and FULL appreciation of Black People.