HI,

Man, I sympathize with your problem. There is something insidious about the whole Santa thing. Why is it considered "good" to purposely lie to your children? Why has a supposedly religious holiday turned into a mindless celebration of material greed, instilling into the minds of children that they are entitled to endless streams of material junk which can "magically" appear, delivered by some flying spirit you can never catch on the job, but who appears in every damned department store across the nation encouraging children to demand as their right any rubbish being flogged off that year.

My own mother was severley into the whole Santa thing, and really went out of her way to make Christmas special in a "traditional story-book manner". Big Christmas tree, heaps of decorations, big red stocking stuffed with presents, piles of nicely wrapped boxes with toys and more, Santa bedtime stories for weeks leading up to it.

Now I'm not saying I didn't enjoy this. As a kid, I had a great time at Christmas. It was for many years the greatest day of the year. But why? Basically, greed... "I got heaps of stuff"...
And man, was I glad. We sure needed that Santa guy each year, 'cause we were living in a government housing estate (council house, public housing, government yard, whatever it's called in your country) on the single parent social security. Mum's ingenuity made life good, but she did struggle constantly.

Knowing now that all those presents actually came from her, paid for with money saved all year, makes her sacrifice even more painful. You see, all the love and affection I had for Santa, as this great, all-giving provider and father figure, should have gone to my mother. She was doing all the work and giving all the love, and the love I should have returned was stolen by Santa. It pains me that my affections were misplaced onto a fictional character largely invented by department stores. That love belonged to my mother, and instead she got none of it, rather a secret resentment that she wasn't giving me as much "stuff" as this F.C. guy, or as some other kids parents gave them. The irony!

I was devastated when I discovered Santa was a fake. I had fallen victim to a fraud, a hoax, a lie. The mix of emotions is revealing. I was grief stricken, like I had lost a loved one, because in a way I had. I loved Santa, and now he was "dead", worse, had never existed. I really wanted him to be real, to exist, but I knew he didn't. I was also angry - angry at having been lied to, angry at having constructed a false picture of reality in my head, angry at having been victim of a conspiracy to fill kids heads with lies. And who was I angry at? On one level, the whole damned system, everyone who had conspired to make me believe this lie - school, TV, society at large. But most of all my mother, for lying to me directly. The person whom I most trusted and loved.

Can you see the irony in this again? I grieve for a myth, and am angry toward the one who truly showed me love, who was truly giving selflessy to me 365 days a year, at Christmas most of all. What a screwed up set of ideals to instill in children...

What the Santa cult does:

1. Deliberately instills in children a lie known to be false by "initiates".

2. Steals children's love from their parents and gives it to a "false god".

3. Instills material greed in children by making them believe they are entitled to lots of "stuff" which magically appears each year. In reality you are only entitled to what you have actually earned yourself.

4. Makes children of poor families who cannot afford much/anything at Christmas feel not only "bad" as in un-happy, but actually wicked or "evil", because Santa comes to "good" children, but not "bad" children. "Rich" kids must be better because Santa brought them more...

5. Causes inevitable pain when children inevitably discover Santa is fake...

Combatting the Santa Cult:

1. Don't buy into the "Santa is Real" thing.
No need to burden them with a whole "Santa is Evil" philosophy at a young age, but no need to go to extreme lengths to preserve your child's belief in Santa. At the end of the day, he is just another fairy tale. Treat him as such. Don't ever pretend he is real with young children, but don't make a big deal of it. If they ask directly, tell them directly. Treat him like any other fictional character. No child seems to have trouble or experience grief knowing that Mickey Mouse, the Smurfs, Rumplestiltskin or the Tele Tubbies are just stories.

2. If you are Christian, you surely would want to emphasize the religious aspect of Christmas. Tell them the story of St Nicholas, and explain that Santa is a "pop culture" phenomenon that has grown up loosely around that story, no more. It's what Star Wars is to real-life space exploration.

3. You can still give to your children (of course, as if I need say). Any loving parents instinct is to provide for their children. What man, when his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Again, if Christian, emphasize they are like birthday gifts, but celebrating Jesus's birthday. Let your child know who they are really from. (Not Santa). They will have just as much fun, and their thanks will be to you, not Santa.
If you're not into Christmas or Christianity, then nothing stops you giving to your children at any and all times. They will be just as happy and feel just as loved. Believe me, your children won't hate you because you give them things at other times...

4. If feeling guilty, always remember that the Santa Cult has 0% chance of delivering spiritual salvation to your child, and a good chance of turning them into a spoiled, materialistic brat who despises their parents for not "giving them as much as Santa".

5. Love your children.

As an aside, while writing this my Mother rang and during conversation mentioned she was clearing away the christmas tree and decorations, and reminisced over the big piles of presents that used to be there in years gone by. (She still loves that stuff...) I told her that I knew all the joy I got from all those presents was due to her and that all the love I felt as a child for Santa I gave to her, and more, because only now as an adult can I really appreciate the effort she went through to make us happy and to provide for us. She said I was beautiful, which has made my day.